


patch up my bleeding heart

by valentin0_ml



Category: Persona 3
Genre: M/M, a chunk of this is just a p4a/u summary, aka 'val's version of pre-p4a/u and post-p4a/u except hamuko is canon', and also an animal attack, consider it more gay as well, i also did a lot of cuts, i started writing this right after my last fic, warning for needles/syringes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 04:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17891564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valentin0_ml/pseuds/valentin0_ml
Summary: akihiko has an interesting life.





	patch up my bleeding heart

It was a good day of training at the gym today. Akihiko had helped new boxers who recently started coming to work out their strengths, and what they should try to improve on to get even stronger. It would be something he missed doing. He was going to train too, though. Not just for himself, but for others around him. He wanted to protect them, and make them proud. Even those who weren’t physically there.

He slung his jacket over his shoulder and began his walk to the dorm (he probably wouldn’t be staying much longer. it was weird to think about). The days have been more gray lately, few rays of sun cutting through the clouds. Most other people probably wouldn’t enjoy downcast weather like this, but Akihiko’s grown to like the rain. It’s become comforting to him. A small drizzle began, but he kept walking. The light drops were refreshing. It helped cool him down from earlier practice. The stairway to the station came into sight, along with a group of giggling girls, each with brightly-colored umbrellas. Their chittering increased just as they saw him, and one called out.

“Heeeeey, Akihiko-senpai! I totally didn’t expect to see you here!”

“That’s nice.”  
(why are they here? he was pretty sure these girls haven’t done much since they’ve graduated. he stayed training late, too.)

A girl with a bright green umbrella pouted.

“Akihiko-senpaaai! We’ve been waiting soo long to meet you here. We all could totally go out and have some fun together! Why do you sound so booored? We could go to fun places, like Escapade!”

Akihiko frowns. “Escapade? No. I appreciate your waiting, but I’m going to have to go. My hair will get frizzy from this rain, and I need to study.”  
(he would _not_  disrespect those who have made sacrifices for him. the people he couldn’t protect. miki, shinji.... hamuko. and he really didn’t want to deal with frizzy hair. plus, he still studied to keep himself sharp. just because high school was over doesn’t mean college’ll be any easier. he has to keep working.)

He walks past the crowd of girls, who’s chatter becomes quieter and more pointed. Honestly, he didn’t know what they expected, especially with this weather. He isn’t interested in any of them. He never felt attraction towards women, as it is. Has he just not shown it enough..? Maybe he should tell them so the other graduates stop bothering him. Especially since his graduation. He doesn’t have the time for it. His plans are bigger than just this city- he’s yearned to leave. Ever since he’s lived in the orphanage, cooped up in the small room used to punish them when they acted out, he wanted to go. He wants to train. To learn more. To see past just Japan, to explore the world.

He was going to do it. He will do it, so he can protect the people who are around him now.

Physical strength isn’t all he needs to protect. He knows it. It’s something embedded even closer to his heart after the last year. All the sacrifices that have led up to who he is now. He will not forget the bullet Shinji took. He will not forgot the sacrifice Chidori made. He will not forget a moon, with an eye so large it could swallow him whole. He will not forget it opening wider, wide enough to swallow the entire city, country, the entire world. He will not forget Hamuko’s courage as she walked to it, and the flash of light as she made her final sacrifice.

He will not forget standing at her tombstone.

He will never forget the sacrifices of those who were brave enough to stand up against fate. He will always be training to keep up to them. He will stay strong.

He steps into the dorm and looks around. No one is in. He isn’t surprised. People haven’t been around as much. They all cope in their own ways. He slowly walks up the staircase to his room.

It was nearly empty now, aside from a punching bag and some suitcases. (it was so much more empty. he donated his trophies to gekkoukan. he trusts that they’ll still be kept in a respectable state. the other things he didn’t need went to orphanages or homeless shelters. he wanted to help them so badly- but it has to start with themselves. that doesn’t mean he can’t lend a helping hand.) Shinji and Mitsuru are probably the only ones who are aware of what will happen. He’s leaving in only a week, after all.

..Who knows how long he’ll be gone.

Someone knocks on his door. It’s a heavy, high up knock, and he instantly recognizes it. The door opens, and Shinji invites himself in, his eyes dully scanning Akihiko’s room. Akihiko raises an eyebrow and sits on his bed. He carefully picks up one of the few things left out; a small bottle with a white label, a box of alcohol wipes, a pair syringes, a bandage, and a red container. He pulls up his pant leg and begins preparation as Shinji starts talking.

“Sheesh... I knew you were leavin’ soon, but it’s still weird to see your room like this,” Shinji says, settling down next to Akihiko. Akihiko had just finished the transfer of a clear liquid from one syringe to another. He hands the full syringe to Shinji, and carefully places the empty syringe in the red box, and shuts it carefully. He massages his exposed thigh to relax the muscle, then swabs it. He finally chuckles in response as the alcohol dries on his leg.

“Well, I dunno if the next person who’d be here would appreciate a bunch of trophies, no matter how well earned they are.”

“You could say that again. I doubt anyone would want a training freak’s stuff,” Shinji replies, a slight grin on his face. The alcohol is completely dried by this point, so he carefully sticks the needle in Akihiko’s thigh, injecting the liquid slowly. They’ve almost always helped each other with this, now that they actually have the means to do so (except when shinji was in a coma. but that doesn’t matter.) aside from words. Akihiko had given Shinji his dose two days ago. It was a calming ritual. Shinji finishes and slowly draws out the needle, then puts it in the red container. Akihiko puts on the bandage, gets up, and then stretches some. Shinji’s eyes are still on him, but it doesn’t bother him as much anymore. He’s gotten used to it, especially since asking him to rate his new techniques. He throws a few punches at the sole boxing bag in his room before turning back to Shinjiro.

“Y’know, you could always come with me. Mitsuru has the money. You don’t have to stay.”  
(he knows shinji will stay. he cares too much to leave. he doesn’t want ken to stay alone (like they were) and he wants to keep koromaru safe. it hurts his own heart to leave them, but he’s yearning to escape this city he’s lived in for nearly ten years now. but he still had to ask.)

Shinjiro looks away from him now. “Can’t. I got stuff here I gotta handle. A job too, even.”

He _knew_  it was the response Shinji’d give him. So why did it still hurt his heart to hear? He’s not sure if his face changed, but he knows Shinji would recognize how he felt.

He turned back to the boxing bag and easily fell into a fighting stance. Shinji is silent. He jabs. He hears Shinji stand up. Another jab. Footsteps. A hook. He feels a hand on his shoulder, and turns around. Shinjiro kisses him. He kisses back slowly, as if he could just transfer everything he feels through the interlocking of their lips; all his confused feelings he just can’t word. Shinji, though usually feeling so cold, felt so warm now.

Shinji breaks away. Another beat of silence, and then he goes to Akihiko’s door, opens it, lifts a hand in farewell, and leaves.

Akihiko slams a punch into the boxing bag. What even were they at this point? They both say ‘just friends’ but they’re no strangers to lying. He punches again.

Looks like he’ll be training a lot more tonight.

 

* * *

 

It’s three am, and Akihiko is tugging his luggage out of the door so he can catch a taxi to the airport. No one would be there to show him off. Ever since the Dark Hour ended, nearly everyone had gotten into an actually normal sleep schedule again. They all had said their goodbyes last night, after all. He makes it down the final staircase and stands up straight, taking in one last look at the dorm. The dorm he spent nearly his entire high school life in, the one that housed his first (actual) kiss with Shinji, the one that held him when his shoulders felt so heavy from the stress of everything that he puked, the one that sheltered him when he took his first shot of testosterone. He takes it in for what will (probably. hopefully, honestly.) be the last time. He steps outside.

Shinji is standing right outside of the door. His teeth unclench. He didn’t even realize they were clenched together in the first place.

“Hey,” he said.

Shinji raises a hand casually. “Hey. Decided to see you off.”

Akihiko nods. “Thank you.”  
(even though his voice is casual, he really means it. his heart had been hurting at going away alone.) He tugs Shinji’s arm and pulls him into a hug, one that tightens as he hears wheels on the road. He doesn’t want to leave. He wants to stay. He wants to be here with Shinji, Ken, Junpei, Koromaru, Mitsuru, Fuuka. The new family he built with the other members of SEES.

But he can’t. He has to do this. He pulls away, and Shinjiro has an unreadable expression on his face. Akihiko picks up his luggage.

“Bye.”

He gets into the car, and even though he doesn’t look back, (he can’t. he’ll break if he does.) he knows Shinji is watching.

 

* * *

 

It’s been two years since he’s left Japan, and one year since he took a leave from college in America. Currently, he’s in the middle of fuck-nowhere in Russia wrestling a bear. Some more logical people may ask;

‘Akihiko? What the fuck are you doing here? Why are you fighting a bear?’

Honestly, he wouldn’t be able to give a good answer right now. His chest is bleeding from three scratches that are probably deeper than most bear-fighting professionals recommend, and he was getting pretty lightheaded. Some bones were probably cracked, too. He forgot his damn knife at his campsite too, so he had nothing but his fists. Honestly, he thought he was going to die which is a pretty shitty way to go considering all the things he’s faced in his life. His thoughts were going at what felt like light speed.

_Will I die? will I not be able to protect my friends anymore?_  he thinks desperately. He thinks his grip tightens. _I want to see Hamuko again, but is this too soon? Will I not be able to see Shinji again? (it’s not like you‘ve visited him.)_

He heard a click, and the _fwee_  of something whizzing past his face, and landing into the neck of the bear, who reared back with a mighty roar.

It staggered for a bit, then fell over. He hears a familiar whirr. He turns around, sees blonde hair, and then falls to the ground, the last thing he sees being a red stain slowly spreading around him.

 

* * *

 

Akihiko opens his eyes to a fuzzy gray, his vision edged with black. He looks to the side and sees a gray figure standing next to his bed.

He looks up.  
Is that Aigis? Huh. So this is how Hamuko probably felt.

He squints his eyes groggily, and everything comes into focus. He’s in a hospital.

“So I didn’t die?”

“Fortunately, no,” Aigis replies, smiling.

“Huh,” Akihiko says, rolling on his back and looking up at the ceiling. “So when can I get back into action?”

“At least four to five months. Shinjiro and the others would be very upset if you permanently injured yourself.”

Akihiko hissed slightly. _Fuck. Shinji... I haven’t seen him in two years. How has he changed?_

His heart hurts, and he lets out a small laugh. Seems like that will be fun. He looks up at Aigis again.

“So. Can you tell me how you were even able to save me?”

Aigis gives a small smile. “I had a small ‘hunch’. I was planning to come to this country for a mission from the Kirijo Group, but Mitsuru informed me you were in the country. I was planning to visit you. I am lucky to have such good timing.”

“Pfft,” Akihiko says, a grin forming on his face. “You could say that again. I would’ve been a goner without you.”

He pauses for a second.

“Thank you.”

Aigis nods. “I am very glad I was able to help you. Please, be more careful though. I will not always be there to shoot a sleeping dart into a bear.”

Akihiko lets out a full laugh at that, ignoring the pain in his chest from it. “Definitely. I’ll be sure to try not to box with bears anymore.”

A woman in a white coat (presumably his doctor) walks in, and says something in Russian to Aigis. They reply quickly, then turn to Akihiko. “Would you want to return to Japan for the time during recovery? Your doctor believes having people who you know and share a language with will help you become healthy faster.”

Akihiko nods with barely a seconds hesitation. God, he just wanted to go _home_. Aigis says something to the doctor, then turns back to him again.

“It will take a few days, but you will be moved to a town called Inaba. It has doctors sufficiently trained in animal attacks, and who are connected to the Kirijo Group. It is about four hours away from Iwatodai.”

Akihiko settles into bed again, smiling as his vision begins to darken again. Seeing Shinji, Ken, and the others... he’s missed them.

 

* * *

 

Akihiko is in a daze. He _swears_  he went to sleep for only a day or so, but apparently it was four days and Shinjiro was right in front of him, sleeping on a chair.

“Shinji...?”

He sits up with a bolt, eyes instantly landing on Akihiko, as his face contorts into anger.

“Aki, the hell did you do? I know you love fightin’ and shit, but a fucking bear? You muscleheaded moron, you coulda fucking _died_ -“

Shinji’s voice stops with a crack. He looks away, and Akihiko’s heart feels heavy. Even though he thought he stopped it by now, his lips kept on twitching downwards, and he was unable to stop it. He watches Shinji still.

“I didn’t choose to fight the damn bear. ‘m not that dumb. Some asshole left out a buncha food, and I was going to throw it away until the bear came.”

Shinjiro still looks pissed, but Akihiko can tell he’s calmed down some. He sighs, and sits down, reaching out a hand to Akihiko. With some effort, Akihiko places his on top of Shinji’s.

(a better him would’ve said ‘i’m sorry i haven’t been around’.) Akihiko shakes his head. Shinji’s probably too busy to deal with him and his shit. Shinji’s eyes close slowly again. When Akihiko is _pretty_  sure he’s asleep, he whispers quietly-

“Missed you.”

 

* * *

 

It was nearing his full recovery and he was at least ninety-nine percent sure the doctors and nurses were tired of him. Nearly every day he was doing a modified version of his exercise program, and spent most of it walking around, talking to the other residents. Not only that, but his visits with the other former SEES members were on an entirely different level. He was _so_  loud when Yukari and Junpei came over (junpei made so many dirty jokes. yukari had hit him and akihiko almost threw his hospital pillow at him), Ken almost screamed with joy when he was able to visit (akihiko had grabbed him and engulfed him into a big hug, and probably nearly hurt _both_  of their ribs. he also ruffled the younger one’s hair, and commented on his pride on how much he’s working out now), Koromaru barked up a storm (and also jumped _directly on his stomach_ ), Fuuka even brought him food that she cooked (luckily, shinji’s lessons had paid off. if her cooking was as bad as it was when she was a junior, akihiko probably would’ve had to stay a few weeks longer due to poisoning), Aigis visited and told him about the missions, and Mitsuru talked with him. (mostly about her dates with yukari. he enjoyed it, though. it was nice to hear about how happy yukari made her. there was also info about the shadow operatives, though.) Honestly, talking with everyone as much as he did _after_  the Dark Hour had ended, and them properly coping with Hamuko’s death made him realize just how much he appreciated them all. Don’t misunderstand, he appreciated them during the time spent as SEES, but talking to them without the weight of the world (or grief) on their shoulders was nearly an entirely different experience. Everyone seemed much happier and lighter, which is what they deserved.

..Huh. Thinking back on it, pretty much all of them had a pretty fucking horrible high school experience. It makes him even happier to know that his friends were thriving, now.

Especially Shinji. Shinji had come at least once nearly every week, and Akihiko felt bad almost all the time for it in the first few months until Shinji had to stop hinting at it and basically admit straight to his face that he enjoyed spending time with Akihiko. (he had gotten so flustered afterwards that he didn’t speak.) Shinji had definitely benefited, too. He stood taller, looked less pale and tired, and emitted a confidence that just.. wasn’t present in his previous air. His eyes were brighter, too. He needed to thank Mitsuru for the money she put into research for safer suppression drugs.

His birthday happened at the hospital, too. Shinji and Mitsuru came over, and they had a nice little party. Shinjiro brought a cupcake and showed pictures of Koromaru (and ken sometimes) and Mitsuru showed all the pictures Yukari took of when she pranked Junpei during a date (and the video of her running away from a very angry Chidori afterwards). All in all, it was probably one of the best birthdays he’s had.

Finally, though. The day had come. He was out! And was going to Latin America the very same day. This goodbye was less emotional than the first, and more people had managed to see him off this time. He hugged everyone (but stayed a bit longer with Shinji than anyone else), and was off.

He was going to miss them all.

 

* * *

 

Akihiko was having an enjoyable (but boring at times) trip around Latin America. He had found plenty of great opponents to fight, but there were a fair share of those who just weren’t worth his time. He was currently in the Dominican Republic, drinking with some of the locals when he got a phone call.

“Perdon (sorry),” he says, getting up slowly. “Necesito hablar con alguien (i have to speak with someone).”

As soon as he steps out of hearing range and opens his cellphone, Mitsuru starts speaking instantly.

“Akihiko. Do you remember the town you were in after recovering from the bear? Well, there has been an incident. The Shadow Operatives will be needed.”

Akihiko clenches his hand around the phone. God. He’ll never escape this fate, will he? Mitsuru goes on.

“I’ve scheduled a plane for you this night in Santo Domingo. There are a few connecting flight that I will text you the location of. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

She hangs up. He’s not surprised, honestly. If she’s calling him as he’s drinking with campos, it’s obviously got to be something big. Looks like he won’t be able to finish his beer. Maybe later. Right now, he has a plane to catch.

 

* * *

 

Inaba. He hasn’t been here (or in japan) for awhile since his little... incident. He’s also gotten a few more scars through a shortcut he honestly _probably_  shouldn’t have taken (through a certain rainforest), but it still got him to Colombia faster, so where’s the harm? Plus, scars look cool, even if they’re a bitch to get.

He’s getting offtopic. Right now, he’s watching Aigis stick their fingers through a TV screen.

_Honestly, in the scope of all the things I’ve been through, this shouldn’t be surprising._

_But still. What the fuck?_

Akihiko jumps down. After a brief conversation, Mitsuru pauses as her eyes briefly flick down to his shirtless chest and she sighs.

“Is it truly that difficult for you to put on a shirt? How many people do you think noticed you in something like that?”

Akihiko raises an eyebrow at her giant fur coat. “My apologies, great Ms Kirijo. Next time I’ll arrive in a limousine as well,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Aigis nods in agreement. “I believe that we should not compare Akihiko’s own clothing when in comparison to our own. Or, in my case, lack of.”

Mitsuru sighs again, and looks at the TV sitting in the clearing of the yard. “Well, at any rate, we must wait before we can enter. We don’t know if this is safe.”

Akihiko’s heart jumps in his throat, and he takes a quick glance at Aigis. Their expression is one he can’t shake from his head. Hearing her say that when a sister is trapped there... he won’t let them go through the torment he did.

“We have to.”

Mitsuru looks surprised.

“We can’t stand idle right now. If the person behind this is willing to kidnap her, I’m betting they’re not that far behind from gearing up to attack us now as we speak.”

Mitsuru opened her mouth to reply, but he kept talking.

“We both know we’ve all grown from before, when she used to lead us. You know my journey’s purpose. I’ve changed from the boy who fought just for the sake of it. I know you’ve changed from this, too.”

Mitsuru’s face had changed. At first he saw the flash of the constantly-stressed seventeen year old she was before, and then her eyes hardened.

She was ready to do this, and so was he.

He wouldn’t fail in protecting someone again. He’ll keep going.

Thank god, Mitsuru needs to go to her fancy limo right now. He turns to Aigis.

“I need a quick moment.”

They nod, and turn away. He walks a distance away, and then calls Shinji. He knows he wouldn’t call back at this time. He wasn’t expecting him to. He waited until the tone for the voicemail came up, and he paused, before speaking in a hushed tone.

“I’ve.. been thinking about you more. About- well, what... we are at this point. I’ve..,” he pauses, looking for the right words. He’s rehearsed this conversation so many times, with so many apologies, but all of the words he thought of are gone. “..I’ve been around the world, but all I can think of is you. I’m back in Japan. There’s a mission I have to go on, but.. I’ll be back to you as soon as I can.”

He pauses one more time.

“I want to see you again.”

He hangs up. Just in time too, thankfully, as Mitsuru returns to the group (he knows she purposely waited. and probably heard most of his message, too. honestly, it still made him embarassed to know that they heard him, but these two were also constantly pushing for him to talk to shinji again as it is).

“Shall we go?” Mitsuru says.

Aigis nods.

Akihiko shakes his arms, his blood already rushing from the excitement of a good fight.

Aigis puts a hand in. Then their whole arm. And as if in slow motion, they tumble through the TV. Mitsuru goes next.

Akihiko watches as the screen stops rippling after Mitsuru elegantly drops in, and looks around to make sure no one is around. He cracks his knuckles, and then, without hesitation, dives into the TV, tumbling over himself as he falls through a white passage.

 

* * *

 

Honestly, he’s not really sure what he expected from this world in the TV. Probably not a talking bear that kept insinuating he was a perv. Or that he would be in a fighting tournament. Well, it’s not like he could choose. Plus, the bear.. ‘Teddie’, doesn’t seem as if he’s too horrible. He has a drive to protect his friends, and Akihiko could appreciate that enough to not get pissed at (quite a few) of the comments he made. That, and he wasn’t as hotheaded as he was when he was younger.

Which is obviously why they’re fighting right now. Teddie is a better fighter than his demeanor revealed, but he isn’t too surprised. He did fight by a dog who used a knife, after all. A bear with all these weird abilities isn’t too far-out there. It’s a bit ironic it’s a bear of all animals, though.

Teddie was breathing heavily, and Akihiko had quite a few scratches on himself. Teddie dives, trying to use one of the missles his Persona can create (and which also hurt a lot). Checkmate. Akihiko jumps back and then summons Ceasar, who deals the final blow.

...And Teddie’s completely flat on the ground. The Teddie with a hat talks about random shit that doesn’t matter, and he wakes up his strange new companion. He’s slowly inflating like a balloon... But, he is back to his previous state, so it’s fine. This new TV world, though.... it’s on a completely different level. Changing whenever a new person joined? Does that mean it changed when he entered? Or does being a Persona exempt him from it? On the topic of persona users, where are Mitsuru and Aigis? And the bears friends? Is the bear a shadow?

Akihiko shakes his head. Not right now. He has to focus on what’s in front of him.

 

* * *

 

After failing to take the bear with him, giving a teenager the wrong ideas _far_  too easily (he just meant shirt! wearing a cape isn’t the easiest way to fight. he knows that. the kid kanji thought this was all a dream, too- that could’ve gone downsided amazingly fast), deciding to help protect pretty much all of the teenager’s friends (even if that requires winning against them in a fight), won against Mitsuru (though grabbing her sword to stop her from attacking was _not_  the best idea, but it was better than his chest getting nearly stabbed. (top surgery... 2?)) and had a (fake) ‘heart-to-heart’ with her (because of something the bear could do. whatever. he knows the truth behind himself), and then had to remind her that things won’t always go one-hundred percent bad. Honestly, when he got to Labrys (the first time) he was completely ready to get out of this TV world. It was a good challenge and he enjoyed it, don’t get him wrong, but the threats far outweighed the benefits.

His fortunes are worst that most, though. He loses her. And met Satonaka. She was definitely one of the most interesting people he’d met out of this trip. Honestly, she reminded him of Shinji in a way. She cared so much for someone she barely even knows. The dedication and drive she has was inspiring. She reminded him why he fights. And helped him decide the path he’ll take now.

He’s going to stay in Japan. He’s going to stay with the people he grew up with, the first group of people he swore to protect- and was able to. He was going to stay with Shinji and watch over Ken and Koromaru.

With his resolve hardened, he walks forwards, no walls holding him back.

 

* * *

 

He just watched Labrys get defeated for a third(?.. does the shadow count?) time. Her body still stands ridgid, even with smoke slowly trickling up. Even though that’s going on, it still seemed foggier than normal.

And then he heard a voice, one all too similar to his. And his shadow stepped out of a murky black fog. He had heard about shadows, but it still was strange. That aside, ignoring the whole ‘evil’ thing and yellow eyes, he looked pretty hot.

_Get your mind out of the gutter, Akihiko_ , he thought to himself.

The shadows taunts meant nothing to him. He wasn’t as insecure as he was when he was younger. He’s grown to understand himself through time and travel. He won’t throw himself away like he did before. He knows his value. He knows his place. He knows why he will always keep his determination to protect.

Fuuka breaks the control on Labrys.

Akihiko pulls out his Evoker, and places the cool steel on his forehead.

_My determination to protect...._

He will always be scared of losing his loved ones. He knows that, and has faced it by now. That is why he is strong. That is why he will stay strong. His loved ones flash through his mind. Miki.. Mitsuru.. Aigis.. Fuuka.. Junpei.. Yukari.. Koromaru.. Ken.. Hamuko..

Shinjiro.

He pulls the trigger.

“My determination will never leave my side!”

 

* * *

 

After the fight with ‘himself’, a dumb quote from some game he saw being played ran through his head;

_Ha. You’re not even good enough to be my fake._

He was silent as Mitsuru began to explain what was necessary to the teenagers, planning on how to tell the Operatives about his new decision.

 

* * *

 

The high schoolers are there to wave goodbye as the Operatives leave in their all-too-conspicuous limo. He makes a brief second of eye contact for the guardian of the leader of this group. He was obviously older than him, evident by just the graying hair alone. He was built well, and gave off an air of cool confidence that a professional had. The story his face had went well with the outfit he wore.

_Huh. He’s sorta hot. Shinji’s more my type, though._  Akihiko pauses and shakes his head. _God, what am I even thinking?_

He gives one last big wave to the group, and ducks into the car. They were leaving the next day, and Mitsuru had business to attend to in a nearby city. It all worked out well, and as they drove to this city, Akihiko took his time to catch up with everyone. It was nice. He can’t wait to see everyone at home again.

 

* * *

 

Honestly, when he went to sleep in the car after helping save Labrys and telling Mitsuru and the others he was going to quit at some point, he didn’t expect to wake up surrounded by hostiles. Definitely ones that looked like they belonged more in Tartarus. He jumped up and tried to do _something_ , but it was too late. He got hit on the head, and everything went black.

 

* * *

 

It was red. And he was suspended in the air, arms outstretched, with harsh, gripping bands locking him in place. Well, isn’t this a true course of irony. Mounted up on a cross again. Honestly, he wasn’t a fan of it the first time. And this time, it feels so... tiring. He closes his eyes again, and drifts off into sleep.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up again, and the first fully formed thought that crosses his mind is, _Well. At least I have top surgery by now,_  because he can _definitely_  hear voices. He doesn’t have the energy to open his eyes right now, but he faintly recognizes a few voices. Is that Junpei? And he swears he hears the bear, and that half-asleep kid too. The voices get closer, and he releases a small breath out in relief, now that his breathing isn’t constricted anymore.

He still can’t focus on anything, though. His chest is aching from the metal bars that were clenched across it, and the burn scars on his hands contrast all too well with the marks. That doesn’t matter right now, though. He has to protect Junpei and the others.

 

* * *

 

He’s on the Moonlight Bridge. The light reflecting the moon is an eerie green, and Aigis is in front of them on a cross. He turns around back into the annoucement room so someone with a longer-ranged persona can help Aigis, when he spots Ken and Koromaru. Or, a version of them at least. ‘Koromaru’ growls the second he spots Akihiko, and a twisted smile forms on ‘Ken’s face.

Akihiko feels his muscles tense with anger. He won’t let the shadow’s taunting affect him. He’s still tired as all hell, but he can protect them. Or so he thought. Either he moves slow or the shadow with Ken’s form is fast, but either way, he’s knocked back and nearly stabbed.

The Snow Black girl- Yukiko- steps up, with a pleasant smile. He knows she’ll handle this better than him, even though he hates to admit it.

He watches ‘Ken’ ready his spear, and Yukiko stands poised. A bell rings off, and they begin to fight.

 

* * *

 

God. He feels bad for the Yu kid. Having to go up against something like what he described must have been terrifying. He walks up to him afterwards, and puts a hand on his shoulder with a smile.

“Good work out there.”

Yu replies with a soft ‘thanks’ and turns to the other people crowding him. He turns to Mitsuru, but she’s staring at Yukari, so he closes his eyes. He hasn’t given himself much time to think these past few days. His mind instantly goes to Shinjiro. God, was it really only a day ago when he left him that voicemail?

...He probably shouldn’t check his phone until he arrives in Iwatodai (shinjiro’s doorstep, preferably). Each person leaves the TV one by one.

It’s only until he’s in the outside world that he realizes how tired he is, and collapses.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up and sees a white figure standing over him.

“Y’know, I feel like I’ve been in this situation before,” Akihiko jokes.

Aigis simply smiles in reply. They move aside, and Shinjiro is sitting right behind them, asleep.

..God. He looks so peaceful.

Aigis leaves the room, bless them, and Shinji jolts up from the gentle snap of the door closing being the cause of his awakening. His steely gray eyes settle on Akihiko, who had been watching him. He gets up, opens his mouth, and pauses before sighing.

“..This can wait when you feel better.”

He sits down again.

“So. What’s up with you now?”

Akihiko laughs. “You wouldn’t believe it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Shinji, true to his word, didn’t talk about their situation until Akihiko was given a full clear by the doctor.

They had only spent one day together when Shinji first spoke up.

“So. You’re stayin’ now.”

Akihiko stills. This conversation has been coming for awhile now, but he still was nervous over it. He couldn’t explain himself, or how shitty he’d been- cutting off almost all contact, with _everyone_ ; it wouldn’t be fair to them. It wouldn’t be fair to Shinji.

“..I am.”

Shinjiro nods, and looks away. God, Akihiko can’t read a _thing_  on his face; it’s completely flat, expressionless. None of his little ticks are present. Was he just not able to see it as well anymore? Was this part of the consequences?

“Stay this time.”

Shinji quickly closes the gap between the two, and pushes Akihiko against the wall behind him.

“Worrying everyone like that is pretty shitty. The last time I saw you, a fuckin’ bear had attacked you. Stop that. Scaring everyone like that is just-“

Shinjiro cuts himself off, and Akihiko feels even weaker than he was when he exited the TV earlier. Even so, he pushes. He pushes Shinjiro away, but then closes the gap between them two, locking his arms around Shinji.

He’s tired of fighting. Not of it in general- he still loved the rush of adrenaline, the atmosphere before, during, and after a good fight. He was tired of fighting with Shinji. It still happened, mostly because of Akihiko’s own immaturity, but it just didn’t feel... right. Not anymore. He wanted to try to express himself through more gentle ways- even if neither of them were used to it.

Shinji’s arms wrap around him in reply. Akihiko doesn’t even need the words- he knows what Shinji feels, and that’s all what matters.

Akihiko was only used to giving himself to the thrill of battle. The rush of the fight, the feeling of power as he won. But that isn’t the only thing he wants to do now. He wants to give himself to Shinjiro- to try something new. Just between the two of them. Not for a crowd, not for himself and his twisted desires. Just for Shinji. Shinji gave so much to others, even when they don’t realize it. He always received so little in return.

Akihiko leans up and kisses Shinjiro.

“I love you,” he whispers in the air between them as they pull apart from each other.

He’s going to give as much as he can to Shinji. And together, they will make each other whole.

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, i'm not sure about how i feel towards this. what matters in the end is that i completed it, though. please tell me in the comments if any errors are present.


End file.
